If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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