A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
