Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
