Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize