No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
