how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
