she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
