Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
