So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
