Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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