I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Still dying that you shit outside
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
