Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
