just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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