So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
