I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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