garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
