Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize