Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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