Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
