MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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