it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
