Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
