How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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