hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You ruined the universe
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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