If that was your dad, he is hot
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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