he shaved USA in his pubs
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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