Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
They took my balls.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize