end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
