we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
