DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
