his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
