Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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