it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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