She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
