maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i dont even know how to be here
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
