Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
