I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
