you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
