You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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