Plan B is the new Plan A
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
