Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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