I wish i was in the wii world.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
