You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
