Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
