glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
