I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize