i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
