oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
