I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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