sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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