The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize