I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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