Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
