do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
