You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize