i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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