So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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