Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm at about main and main street
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
