I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
