I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
