Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think I won the penis lottery.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
