I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
