I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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