Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
